Drama Mama

If you're down, come to me... I can make you feel better.

Had to be at Sunrise Hospital with Dylin for testing @ 7:30am....

she was bent out of shape because I had to wake her up, she had to fast, and then walked out

to a dead car battery....

she's normaly cooperative during all her tests, but she's had it! (I don't blame her)

we ended up being there longer than planned due to her uncooperation.

After all that, we came home to water running down the drive way....

Yep, the hot water heater exploded.

Shut the water off for 4 hours - called my parents to rescue me.

Get a call from my doctor (whom I tell don't call me with any test results, I have a lot going on right now with Dylin's health) and says that I need a biopsy on my thyroid.

My parents come to the rescue....

As Rick & my Dad change out the water heater & my mom & sister Robin are consoling me after a hard month from medical hell...

water starts coming out of the stairs and onto the tile. (The water heater flooded under the stairwell.)

woke up to more water coming out of the walls in the family room.

Who knew a sledge hammer could accomplish so much therapy?!

Stop Yelling Across The House!!!

Dylin's Update

As many of you know, no time to blog due to Dylin's health problems.
I'm trying to update you as much as I can so please continue to visit her website for updates.
Thank you for praying for her!!
www.cureourdylin.org

Boobie-kinz

Yesterday Dylin says as she is looking at a picture of my butt in a bikini, "You're puffy!"

I said, "oh, ok, thanks."

Dylin says, "is that nice?"

I said, "well no Dylin it's not very nice to say things about people's bodies unless it's a nice comment."

Dylin, "Oh well you're not people, you're my Mom."

I'm laying here next to Dylin right now and she laid on my chest and says, "Your boobs are fat."

I laugh, ok.

Dylin says, "is that mean?"

I said, "No it's not mean, but like I said before you shouldn't make comments about peoples bodies and yes I'm a people."

Dylin says, "Ok well then I'll say you're boobs are medium, no I'll just say they are small cause then that is really nice."

Rick pipes in..."Actually Dylin you don't ever want to tell a girl their boobs are small."

Dylin says, "Well Daddy actually all girls have that pokey dot in the middle of their boob and it's small, so I'm right."

(Dylin calls her boobies - boobie-kinz)

M.I.A

As you have noticed, I haven't blogged for a few reasons...

1st Anytime I'm on the computer it is to coupon or to work continuously on the kids school yearbook.

2nd everything that is hilarious is extremely inappropriate. I tend to not have a filter  but for Mary's sake (my mom and yes I call her by her name sometimes, cuz saying "oh Mary" is just funny.) I want to blog everyday, but seriously if I could I would and just most Cenname household scenarios are rated R. 

Jordyn Archive

It was the day before Valentines Day. The school was selling Valograms. I had just picked up Jordyn from 1/2 day Kindergarten and remembered I needed to buy one for her and Tyler. I already had Dylin & Jordyn in the car and decided I'd lock the girls in the car, tell TWO parents that were still talking to watch my car and I'd run in to buy the Valograms. I told the girls to stay in their seat belts and I'd be right back but here was my phone to call Daddy if you needed him. I couldn't have been more than 4 minutes. I run back out, my friends say all if fine and I get into the car. Jordyn says, "Mommy there is a lady on the phone for you." I took the phone from Jordyn and said, "Hello?" "Mam, this is the 911 operator, we got a phone call from your daughter saying you locked her in the car and told her to watch her baby sister while you went shopping for Valentines, where are you located?" I said, "WHAT!?, No, I was outside my car at the school.... (interupted) "Where are you located?" "I'm at my kids school, but I'm leaving cause you're not arresting me in front of my kids school." I proceeded to talk my way out of it since the phone call was only a little over 2 minutes from the time Jordyn called and so somehow she believed my story. So do you think Jordyn got a Valogram????????!!!!!!!!!

Irony - Daily Dose of Dylin

Who would steal on Christmas Eve, from a church book store & happen to steal lip gloss that reads CTR (Choose the Right) ???

Daily Dose of Dylin

Tyler and Jordyn have NEVER liked fictional characters. We don't do pictures with Disney characters, Easter bunny, and of course Santa. Dylin on the other hand wasn't scared of them, she just didn't give a flip that they existed. Until this year! That little conning mind started thinking. Not only did we sit on his lap, but we called him, and told him we loved him. I said, Dylin, "Why do you like Santa all of the sudden?" "Well Mommy, Tyler told me that when kids are bad, they get sh** in their stockings.

Check your child's Homework

Always check your children's homework.
Mommy works at Home Depot and she was selling a snow shovel.
However, now the school thinks Mommy's a pole dancer.

Headache by Tyler

Tyler says you can multiple, divide, add or subtract any of the following numbers...... but you need to use all 5 and your answer should come to 14.
Send him a message in how you did it.

18, 22, 6, 9, 12

I gave up. I keep getting 13 or 15.

Ty's email: SpyTyCenname@aol.com

Stump you by Tyler

Tyler would like to know what you'd fill in the blank with.

Triangle - Circle - Circle
Triangle - Square - Square
Triangle - Square - ___?___

Daily Dose of Dylin

How in the world do you get your kids out the door not looking like this????

Tyler wants to know....

Why did we declare Independence in 1776, when the Revolutionary War didn't end until 1783?

How did we know we were going to win the war?

(Please post your answers or if you don't have a blog account, email him at SpyTyCenname@aol.com. His Mama can never answer these bizzare questions)

Seriously, who thinks like this? He does not know all the answers to his questions, his little crazy brain comes up with stuff like this that doesn't make sense to him, (or anyone).

**The picture is of Tyler & his buddy August pointing to their Great American Challenge Stars. This is the 5th Grade challenge for the kids to memorize & recite the Preamble to the Constitution, The Gettysburg Address, write out States & Capitals, National Anthem, Pledge of Allegiance spelled correctly, and recite the Presidents of the U.S in order. If you didn't catch that, it is for 5th graders, he did it in 2nd grade!
I can brag, because I can not take any credit... He didn't get his smarts from his Mama.

AHHH, there are two Dylin's!!

Who would have thought that Dylin would have competition in the quickest, wisest comebacks??

Camryn & Dylin aren't exactly the most reverent girls in church. Camryn's Mom & I are always having to remind, give the eyes, go out to the hall, and even the occassional drag outside. Well, it was Johanna's (Camryn's Mom) turn. She told her girls that they needed to be reverent and that they were in Jesus's home. Camryn sarcastically replied as quick as a whip, "Huh! Oh like he really lives here!"

(Oh and Johanna made Camryn's costume, those Gurr girls are really up-staging us lately!)

You'll be back to laughing again.....

Yes I've been slacking the past two weeks on my posts, but we have had SIX days a week of baseball. I'm exhausted, but happy to say it's now down to four!

Tyler just turned 9 and has done one GREAT job in school & baseball. I love you Ty.

Sometimes - By, Jordyn

A Tyler Archive

While taking a bath, Tyler started screaming. The type of scream that comes from a finger being cut off. I was paniking trying to figure out if he turned the water to hot, or what was the problem. When Tyler finally caught his breath, he said, "My butt is broken." What? " My butt is broken!" What do you mean, Tyler? "There is a hole & crack in it.

Daily Dose of Dylin

I took the kids to Town Square. If they were good in a few shops, they could play on the playground for a little while. Of course, anyone could guess that 20 minutes wasn't enough time for Dylin. So she set up a scheme. When it was time to go, she said, "I LOST MY CELL PHONE!"

"Mom, I'll go look in the maze." Nope, not there. Then she said, "Oh, I think I left it in the tree house." Meanwhile, after the third place, I sat back down on my bench and Jordyn & Tyler offered to help. Dylin then said, "Well lets run all around and see who can find it." After a few minutes I notice that Tyler & Jordyn are looking all around & Dylin is running around, going up and down the slides. I yelled over to them, and as I see Dylin walking toward me, she is pulling her shirt down in the front. I immediately knew, DUH! She never lost it.

I said, "Dylin, what's in your pocket?"

Dylin, replied "Nothing." (with a sideways smile on her face)

I said, "Dylin, lift up your shirt."

As she lifted it up, she says, "OH MOM, GUESS WHAT, I FOUND MY PHONE IN THE TREE HOUSE!"

"Really Dylin? hmmm? cuz, I think you have had it the whole time???"

Dylin quietly said, "No, I didn't."

I reminded her that lying was bad.

As quick as a whip, that little snot said, "Mom, I'm just kidding. It was a joke to you. I had the phone the whole time in my pocket, you just didn't like the joke and you are supposed to like my jokes!"

(The picture is of Dylin with my purse. She said, her purses aren't big enough for all her crap!)

Halloween Pictures

Tyler as Darth Maul, Jordyn & Dylin as Hannah Montana!


















My nieces Aleeya & Makenna as Killer Bees!


My sister in law Shea as a farmer with her
chicken Scottee & Egg Hadlee









My Brother Scott as Obama

Daily Dose of Dylin

In case you didn't know... Dylin would like you to know that B.S stands for bull sh**. She says that if you want to use the word, but not have Mommy's get mad at you, you say B.S. But if no Mommy's are around than you just say, Bull Sh**.

Thanks Dylin.

You're NOT helping, Tyler!

If you know Jordyn, she is what we call our child that turned out most like her Mom! Yep, when it comes to school, Jordyn knew what the word ditch was in Kindergarten. She just doesn't like going to school to learn, she rather have recess & art all day. We struggle with her to not only go to school, but to actually make any effort & when it comes to studying for a test, OH MY, that is a wreck known to happen every Thursday night. Today she came home, I dug into her backpack right away. I had a twisted stomach all day as Jordyn had to study for 2 tests the night before. She was going to have a Nevada test & spelling. I was a wreck for her.

Well when I pulled her papers out of her folder, I screamed! Jordyn got a 100% on both tests & got a 100% on a reading comprehension test from Thursday. She also received the Citizenship award today. I was so excited. I called everyone into the room and made a huge announcement, made Jordyn feel so special (atleast I thought I was) and clapped & cheered. I said, we were going to do something very cool & special just for Jordyn tomorrow. That's when all the cheering stopped as Tyler pops up and says, "WAIT a minute, I get 100% all the time, I don't get NOTHING!" Thanks a lot Tyler, that really helped.

As I argued with Tyler, nearly a minute went by & I look over to find Jordyn asleep. She didn't even care either.

So I'm publicly posting, YEAH Jordyn!! Great job!!

Are you proud of me?

So Dylin didn't clean up her mess infact this is what she said when she went to bed.

"I'm tired and since you are such a nice Mom you are going to do magic and clean it all up after I fall asleep."

So I did, and now it's all in my room and she's not getting any of it back for a LONG time.

Abracadabra

Dylin dropped something on the stairs while walking with Grandma Janice.

Dylin stopped and said abruptly, "pick it up."

Grandma said, "no you pick it up."

Dylin waved her hands around and said very wizardly, "abracadabra, make Grandma pick up my toy!"

Grandma responded, "abracadabra pick up your own toy!"

With a roll of the eyes, sure enough Dylin gave in.

All Mom's fault

Dylin is very well known for making huge messes and then conning everyone else into cleaning them up. Today's con went as this:

Me - "Dylin, you need to clean up your room if you want to do anything fun today."

Dylin - "I'm too tired!"

Me - "You just woke up, this is yesterdays mess." "Get in there."

Dylin - "Actually Mom, you need to clean it up cause you're mean."

Me - "Oh really why am I mean & why do I need to clean it up?"

Dylin - "Cause I got ALLLL my toys out to share with you and you aren't playing with them

and that's mean, cuz I was sharing & so now you need to clean them up."

Kudos to Rick

He made up for leaving me the sick kid for 6 days, by waking up early Saturday morning to take Dylin out for breakfast, and this was the first time EVER that she looked like she could go out in public. Every other time, he lets her create her own outfits, (which yes I know how cute) but when you see those kids, you wonder, if she's a walmart baby or bet the Mom didn't see her before she left the house.

The MOST disgusting & hilarious pics!

Send me yours and I will post. Send to TyJnDsMama@aol.com

The ugly mom days

Dont you ever just feel like this? You try to stay sane but really you are covered in throw up, there is throw up on your couch, every towel, tile, your own bed, carpet, oh and on the toilet lid splattering all over the walls? But yet, you still don't complain & you still hold your daughter's hair for her, or pat your son's back while they puke all over the house in the middle of doing throw up laundry. Meanwhile you are instantly a single parent cause your husband is like a little kid that sees throw up or OH my gosh clean it up (ya right!).... will throw up himself! Take a deep breath & tell your self, It's all worth it!

Are you giving your kids enough detention?

10pm Jordyn still isnt' asleep.

"Mom, can you please lay with me?"

"Jordyn, I thought Dad was laying with you?"

"No, he's laying with Tyler giving him all the detention."

"Jordyn, Tyler is sick. We lay with you & give you attention when you are sick."

"Well Tyler always gets all the detention cause he's older."

"Jordyn, No that's not true, you all get the same amount of attention."

"No, I never get detention!"

(Rick's taking her out tonight for one on one detention)

Daily Dose of Dylin - "Nutts or Lines?"

Apparently, Dylin still didn't get that girls don't have nutts.

Last night she told Rick, she has nutts.

Rick said, "Dylin only boys have nutts."

Dylin asked, "Well what do girls have then?"

Rick said, "You have a potty."

Dylin said, "Oh ya, we have that line."

Mother Monkey, Tape & Dr. Oz...watch out Tyler!

Have you heard of pin worms? I hadn't until Dr. Oz, said that it is very common with kids.

Prime suspect..... kids who itch their butt....prime suspect in our house... Tyler!!

He always is itching his butt.

So how do you know if your kid has it???

The worms only come out at night, when it's dark.

You are supossed to tape your kids butt hole with scotch tape while they sleep & then

in the morning, see if you caught the mother worm.

So do you really think I didn't do this, of course I did.

I was thinking I would have to do it when Tyler was asleep, but nope, I told him about it and

he gladly bent over.

As uncomfortable as it sounds, he slept great & he DOESNT have pin worm, just an itchy butt.

Just think how many readers are going to go tape their childs butt hole tonight after seeing this pic! hee hee.

Just Look at my Balls!

One night Tyler was very sick & had a high fever. Grandma Janice asked, "Is Tyler's balls saggy?" "What!" we asked. She explained that when boys are sick, their balls get saggy & mushy due to their fever. Well what do you think? Of course I looked. Sure enough, Grandma was correct, and from now on... you can't help but look or notice when he's sick.
So time passed, everyone was healthy, but then Jordyn got sick and what do you think happened?? Of course, Jordyn said, "Mom look at my balls and see if I'm sick!"

Um, so I really couldn't post a picture for this one!

Your Daily Dose of Dylin

Our deal is with Jordyn, Dylin and our cute little neighbor Drew that they can play on the park for 1/2 hr. before Tyler & Jake's game starts and then they have to be good during the game....

Yesterday Jordyn was pushing Dylin & Drew on the swings, and Dylin said "Jordyn you need to push me on my back." Jordyn said, "Dylin, I'm pushing your butt so that I don't push you off the swing." Dylin replied in her load roar, "Jordyn, BUT YOUR HURTING MY NUTTS!" (thanks Drew!)

Just wanted to show off Tyler, he's pitching this season. First season of kid pitch! He's doing great. He still plays short stop too.