AHHH, there are two Dylin's!!

Who would have thought that Dylin would have competition in the quickest, wisest comebacks??

Camryn & Dylin aren't exactly the most reverent girls in church. Camryn's Mom & I are always having to remind, give the eyes, go out to the hall, and even the occassional drag outside. Well, it was Johanna's (Camryn's Mom) turn. She told her girls that they needed to be reverent and that they were in Jesus's home. Camryn sarcastically replied as quick as a whip, "Huh! Oh like he really lives here!"

(Oh and Johanna made Camryn's costume, those Gurr girls are really up-staging us lately!)

You'll be back to laughing again.....

Yes I've been slacking the past two weeks on my posts, but we have had SIX days a week of baseball. I'm exhausted, but happy to say it's now down to four!

Tyler just turned 9 and has done one GREAT job in school & baseball. I love you Ty.

Sometimes - By, Jordyn

A Tyler Archive

While taking a bath, Tyler started screaming. The type of scream that comes from a finger being cut off. I was paniking trying to figure out if he turned the water to hot, or what was the problem. When Tyler finally caught his breath, he said, "My butt is broken." What? " My butt is broken!" What do you mean, Tyler? "There is a hole & crack in it.

Daily Dose of Dylin

I took the kids to Town Square. If they were good in a few shops, they could play on the playground for a little while. Of course, anyone could guess that 20 minutes wasn't enough time for Dylin. So she set up a scheme. When it was time to go, she said, "I LOST MY CELL PHONE!"

"Mom, I'll go look in the maze." Nope, not there. Then she said, "Oh, I think I left it in the tree house." Meanwhile, after the third place, I sat back down on my bench and Jordyn & Tyler offered to help. Dylin then said, "Well lets run all around and see who can find it." After a few minutes I notice that Tyler & Jordyn are looking all around & Dylin is running around, going up and down the slides. I yelled over to them, and as I see Dylin walking toward me, she is pulling her shirt down in the front. I immediately knew, DUH! She never lost it.

I said, "Dylin, what's in your pocket?"

Dylin, replied "Nothing." (with a sideways smile on her face)

I said, "Dylin, lift up your shirt."

As she lifted it up, she says, "OH MOM, GUESS WHAT, I FOUND MY PHONE IN THE TREE HOUSE!"

"Really Dylin? hmmm? cuz, I think you have had it the whole time???"

Dylin quietly said, "No, I didn't."

I reminded her that lying was bad.

As quick as a whip, that little snot said, "Mom, I'm just kidding. It was a joke to you. I had the phone the whole time in my pocket, you just didn't like the joke and you are supposed to like my jokes!"

(The picture is of Dylin with my purse. She said, her purses aren't big enough for all her crap!)

Halloween Pictures

Tyler as Darth Maul, Jordyn & Dylin as Hannah Montana!


















My nieces Aleeya & Makenna as Killer Bees!


My sister in law Shea as a farmer with her
chicken Scottee & Egg Hadlee









My Brother Scott as Obama

Daily Dose of Dylin

In case you didn't know... Dylin would like you to know that B.S stands for bull sh**. She says that if you want to use the word, but not have Mommy's get mad at you, you say B.S. But if no Mommy's are around than you just say, Bull Sh**.

Thanks Dylin.

You're NOT helping, Tyler!

If you know Jordyn, she is what we call our child that turned out most like her Mom! Yep, when it comes to school, Jordyn knew what the word ditch was in Kindergarten. She just doesn't like going to school to learn, she rather have recess & art all day. We struggle with her to not only go to school, but to actually make any effort & when it comes to studying for a test, OH MY, that is a wreck known to happen every Thursday night. Today she came home, I dug into her backpack right away. I had a twisted stomach all day as Jordyn had to study for 2 tests the night before. She was going to have a Nevada test & spelling. I was a wreck for her.

Well when I pulled her papers out of her folder, I screamed! Jordyn got a 100% on both tests & got a 100% on a reading comprehension test from Thursday. She also received the Citizenship award today. I was so excited. I called everyone into the room and made a huge announcement, made Jordyn feel so special (atleast I thought I was) and clapped & cheered. I said, we were going to do something very cool & special just for Jordyn tomorrow. That's when all the cheering stopped as Tyler pops up and says, "WAIT a minute, I get 100% all the time, I don't get NOTHING!" Thanks a lot Tyler, that really helped.

As I argued with Tyler, nearly a minute went by & I look over to find Jordyn asleep. She didn't even care either.

So I'm publicly posting, YEAH Jordyn!! Great job!!

Are you proud of me?

So Dylin didn't clean up her mess infact this is what she said when she went to bed.

"I'm tired and since you are such a nice Mom you are going to do magic and clean it all up after I fall asleep."

So I did, and now it's all in my room and she's not getting any of it back for a LONG time.

Abracadabra

Dylin dropped something on the stairs while walking with Grandma Janice.

Dylin stopped and said abruptly, "pick it up."

Grandma said, "no you pick it up."

Dylin waved her hands around and said very wizardly, "abracadabra, make Grandma pick up my toy!"

Grandma responded, "abracadabra pick up your own toy!"

With a roll of the eyes, sure enough Dylin gave in.

All Mom's fault

Dylin is very well known for making huge messes and then conning everyone else into cleaning them up. Today's con went as this:

Me - "Dylin, you need to clean up your room if you want to do anything fun today."

Dylin - "I'm too tired!"

Me - "You just woke up, this is yesterdays mess." "Get in there."

Dylin - "Actually Mom, you need to clean it up cause you're mean."

Me - "Oh really why am I mean & why do I need to clean it up?"

Dylin - "Cause I got ALLLL my toys out to share with you and you aren't playing with them

and that's mean, cuz I was sharing & so now you need to clean them up."

Kudos to Rick

He made up for leaving me the sick kid for 6 days, by waking up early Saturday morning to take Dylin out for breakfast, and this was the first time EVER that she looked like she could go out in public. Every other time, he lets her create her own outfits, (which yes I know how cute) but when you see those kids, you wonder, if she's a walmart baby or bet the Mom didn't see her before she left the house.

The MOST disgusting & hilarious pics!

Send me yours and I will post. Send to TyJnDsMama@aol.com

The ugly mom days

Dont you ever just feel like this? You try to stay sane but really you are covered in throw up, there is throw up on your couch, every towel, tile, your own bed, carpet, oh and on the toilet lid splattering all over the walls? But yet, you still don't complain & you still hold your daughter's hair for her, or pat your son's back while they puke all over the house in the middle of doing throw up laundry. Meanwhile you are instantly a single parent cause your husband is like a little kid that sees throw up or OH my gosh clean it up (ya right!).... will throw up himself! Take a deep breath & tell your self, It's all worth it!

Are you giving your kids enough detention?

10pm Jordyn still isnt' asleep.

"Mom, can you please lay with me?"

"Jordyn, I thought Dad was laying with you?"

"No, he's laying with Tyler giving him all the detention."

"Jordyn, Tyler is sick. We lay with you & give you attention when you are sick."

"Well Tyler always gets all the detention cause he's older."

"Jordyn, No that's not true, you all get the same amount of attention."

"No, I never get detention!"

(Rick's taking her out tonight for one on one detention)

Daily Dose of Dylin - "Nutts or Lines?"

Apparently, Dylin still didn't get that girls don't have nutts.

Last night she told Rick, she has nutts.

Rick said, "Dylin only boys have nutts."

Dylin asked, "Well what do girls have then?"

Rick said, "You have a potty."

Dylin said, "Oh ya, we have that line."

Mother Monkey, Tape & Dr. Oz...watch out Tyler!

Have you heard of pin worms? I hadn't until Dr. Oz, said that it is very common with kids.

Prime suspect..... kids who itch their butt....prime suspect in our house... Tyler!!

He always is itching his butt.

So how do you know if your kid has it???

The worms only come out at night, when it's dark.

You are supossed to tape your kids butt hole with scotch tape while they sleep & then

in the morning, see if you caught the mother worm.

So do you really think I didn't do this, of course I did.

I was thinking I would have to do it when Tyler was asleep, but nope, I told him about it and

he gladly bent over.

As uncomfortable as it sounds, he slept great & he DOESNT have pin worm, just an itchy butt.

Just think how many readers are going to go tape their childs butt hole tonight after seeing this pic! hee hee.

Just Look at my Balls!

One night Tyler was very sick & had a high fever. Grandma Janice asked, "Is Tyler's balls saggy?" "What!" we asked. She explained that when boys are sick, their balls get saggy & mushy due to their fever. Well what do you think? Of course I looked. Sure enough, Grandma was correct, and from now on... you can't help but look or notice when he's sick.
So time passed, everyone was healthy, but then Jordyn got sick and what do you think happened?? Of course, Jordyn said, "Mom look at my balls and see if I'm sick!"

Um, so I really couldn't post a picture for this one!

Your Daily Dose of Dylin

Our deal is with Jordyn, Dylin and our cute little neighbor Drew that they can play on the park for 1/2 hr. before Tyler & Jake's game starts and then they have to be good during the game....

Yesterday Jordyn was pushing Dylin & Drew on the swings, and Dylin said "Jordyn you need to push me on my back." Jordyn said, "Dylin, I'm pushing your butt so that I don't push you off the swing." Dylin replied in her load roar, "Jordyn, BUT YOUR HURTING MY NUTTS!" (thanks Drew!)

Just wanted to show off Tyler, he's pitching this season. First season of kid pitch! He's doing great. He still plays short stop too.

Famous Prayers from Dylin & Jordyn

I know prayers are serious, but at our house you can hardly sit through a prayer

with out giggling or opening your eyes wide in disbelief......

Jordyn - '05 - Please bless that everyone will brush their teeth so we don't have so much bad breath in the world.

'05 - "We could have beans in our tacos, because beans are healthy for us" (we didn't even have either of those for dinner)

Dylin -for a long time we HAD to bless the mail box and that the mall won't ever go away!

Currently she is set on praying that Tyler & Jordyn will never go to the park & push kids off the swings. Ty & J keep asking, "Dylin why do you say that?" She reponds, "Well just incase you are thinking about doing it." (more like she's thinking about it)

Daily Dose of Dylin

Dylin just hit me!
I looked at her and she said, "cry mom."
I pretended to cry and she hugged me.
Then she says, "ask me why I hit you."
I said, "why did you hit me?"

She said, "cuz I love you."

You are Quick Dylin!

Rick threw his shoe at Jordyn (jokingly) & Jordyn said, "Run Dylin!"

Dylin said, "Dont worry Jordyn, he only has one more!"

A New Language called Jordyn #2

Daddy, I love you so much I could O MOST (almost) criy!

Dylin had her first primary program today at church: Her part was "Praying & reading the scriptures daily." She did such a good job reciting her part. I'm sure that everyone enjoyed the head banging during the songs and swinging her dress around to where she nearly stumbled off the platform her class was on. Oh and sorry Ryder that Dylin picked & poked you. She said she was bored. (obviously, she looked like she was at a rock concert!)

But she obviously did gain something from it as:

Right now she is pretending she is at church and having jordyn be a kid in her sunbeam class. she is telling her to recite after her: "Reading & studying your scriptures Daily & I'm the perfect person in the whole wide world."and then you say " Heavenly Father died & these mean people put him on this hanger & blood was coming out of him." Wow!!! What do I say to that?

She is singing a song out loud right now, "When jesus died on the cross on the road." Jordyn told her it was a cross not a hanger. (good job Jordyn, glad she is listening at church!)

Sex & Baseball by: Tyler

I had been listening to talk radio & the next day when I turned the car on, the announcer said," the rise in teenage pregnancy & STD's." I quickly changed the station, but it was too late for Tyler. He had already absorbed that entire sentence. Two seconds later, "Mom, Why are teenagers having babies & what are STD's."
Luckily he was the only one in the car because this simple sentence turned into so much more!!

I don't believe in lying to your kids about sex. Just tell them how it is with as little as details, so they don't get the wrong information from friends. If you don't answer, they'll go look it up on the Internet.

So with that said, I replied, "well these teenagers aren't understanding the consequences in having pre-marital sex." "When you have sex, (yes I explained it) with random people or even one person you can get pregnant or spread or get a disease."
Tyler's response, "Has the President made an announcement about this, so parents & teenagers know?" It was so hard not to laugh, but I explained how it's been going on for many years & everyone is aware, kids just don't always listen.
Tyler couldn't stop there, it just wasn't enough information.
"Well Mom, how do you prevent getting pregnant & STD's if you want to have sex with just your wife or husband?"
So then we talked about condoms!
This conversation went on and on, but I'll skip to what happened later that night....

Rick got home, we were sitting eating dinner and I said, "Tyler tell Dad what you learned today." Tyler said, "Dad I learned about Sex, Condoms & STD's." Rick's jaw dropped & as he tried to compose himself he said, "Well Tyler what did you learn?"

Tyler said, (very composed) "well Dad imagine when you are playing baseball and you go out to the outfield and pretend someone just hit you a hard pop up, and say like you forgot your "GLOVE" you will be in big trouble! So Dad don't forget your GLOVE, when you go out to play ball!"

Rick and I turned to each other dying laughing, turned to Tyler and said, "WHAT!?! Tyler, are you talking about what I think you are talking about?" He giggled & said, "yep!" "The glove is like your condom." I said, "Where did you come up with that?" Tyler said, "If I want to remember anything, I make an analogy with baseball."

Dylin's Prayer

"Heavenly Father, bless that I don't hit, kick, scream, yell, bite, and (opening her eyes & looking up at me), What else do I do Mom?!"

Poor Tyler & Jordyn, they deserve to go straight to Heaven ~ you guys are so patient!

Dylin Archives

'07 -

Me - "Dylin I'm going to go to jail if you don't put your seat belt on."

Dylin - "Mom, but I'll come visit you."

'07 - I was lecturing Dylin, down on her level, which us Mom's are told to do.

She was looking directly into my eyes, took her thumb & pointer & pinched my mouth shut,

got upclose to my face & said, "Just stop talking."

A bit of Tyler's archives

'04 Tyler said in our dinner prayer, " God, please bless for Mommy to fire the Toy Fairy.

(the toy fairy comes at night and what ever toys were not put away, he takes them to poor children)

'05 Tyler told us tonight that he was eating a bird, drinking a cow and wearing a sheep.

'05 Tyler also told us how he had an Asian woman speak to his school class the other day about her native country. He told us how he wanted to raise his hand and ask her why she eats cat and dog. LUCKILY he chose not to. Who told him that? Uncle Scott, Uncle David or Uncle Bob are my choice??

'06 when it comes to Jordyn we have determined she rather be a dog than a girl that has "babies squeezed out of a hole" & "a kid that has to go to school for 13 years." She is extremely sensitive about our dog Nala! Nala passed away 2 years ago & she still crys about it. Well back in 2005, we were sitting on our bed talking about family. I mentioned there are 5 of us, Jordyn quickly interupted and said no there's 6. We forgot to include Nala. Tyler had to quickly add in that Nala won't be around long since she is old and then we'll be back to 5. Of course Jordyn started to cry. As Rick and I try to console Jordyn as she's wimpering, " I don't want Nala to die." Tyler throws in once again, "We can bury her in the backyard Jordyn." The crys got louder. I said, "Tyler please stop." He said ok Jordyn, "what about burning Nala with fire to ashes, like Luke does to his father Darth Vader." Needless to say Jordyn didn't stop crying for 10 minutes. What a brother!

Just so you get an idea of how difficult Dylin is.... her pediatrician put her in time out today! oh, ya that went over well.

A New language called Jordyn #1

This is Jordyn's new dog a shih tzu. Mrs. Johnson, is this why you had rip out your journal page & take it home day??

I lick my family, wet bawt you!
(how do you get lick & wet in the same sentence?!)

Official Blogger

I kept saying I wasn't going to blog. Who has time? Oh you mean you stay up into the wee-hours of the morning? Yep, you're addicted, I'm addicted. Don't know why. People, friends, family, strangers viewing your life. hmmm? Well we aren't that private anyway, so I guess it wouldn't matter. So Willow, you happy now?

Lets see, I'm warning you right off...my grammer is awful. Everyone knows I do the art assignments with my kids, Rick does the homework. But hey you have to have a creative one in the family, so my talents are still needed.

I actually really wanted to write, to journal my daily doses of Dylin (4), the new language called Jordyn (7) & the mind blowing converstations with Tyler (8). So sit back, wear a pad incase you have a loose bladder, & enjoy our Daily Doses with the Cenname Family!